Tell me more about how your sister shares everything in this TWO HOUR VIDEO ABOUT HOW YOU BECAME A STAR. Now you know how people go online and overshare every tiny little detail, and your life is just an open e-book for everyone to see. NC (vo): We open with performer and famed Sharknado star, Audrey Peeples, playing Jerrica, who is making a video about how she became Jem. But you BETTER have tougher material for me later. NC: That's so easy, I'm just gonna give you a pass on that joke, movie.
NC (vo): You'll notice that this movie was made by BH (BlumHouse) Productions, known primarily for making horror films. (NC puts his gun down and begins his review) (After a pause of the trio staring at each other, NC pulls out his gun, which causes Malcolm and Tamara to leave)
NC: Is it worth all the hatred? Well, spike up your hair and ignore the little voice in your head saying, "This is wrong." This is Jem and the Holo. Two weeks! That's faster than when we figured out Saddam Hussein might be a bad guy! It was ignored by the masses, panned by the critics, and despised by true fans of the original show. Not only did viewers freak when they saw that the trailer virtually had nothing to do with the original source material, but so few people saw it that it was pulled from theaters in literally two weeks. NC (vo): The film is quickly being regarded as one of the worst adaptations of all time. Which is more than I can say for the movie. It centered around a singer who led a double life, using technology from a supercomputer named Synergy to use holograms in her earrings to disguise herself. NC (vo): The original Jem and the Holograms was a slightly dated 80s cartoon. NC: Well, for the sake of this analogy to work, I'll say "no". (Sits down on his reviewing chair) I mean, if this is what the mass audience wants, we should at least try it. (Malcolm slaps him in the head) Thank you. (NC, Malcolm and Tamara leave the filming room, with NC now dressed in his normal get-up) (The Analysts leave, with Analyst 1 typing on a phone) Ha! Zero. (Writes something on a piece of paper and reveals the chart to be saying, "Just wanted a real Jem movie" (larger-side) / "You're an idiot (shorter-side)")Īnalyst 1: I can't understand him through his accent.Īnalyst 2: Why don't we take a break for all of us to collect our thoughts?Īnalyst 1: Good idea! I'll calculate the probability of me relaxing. Can you phrase your question in the form of a chart? Malcolm: Are you sure that's not what they just wanted for a Jem movie?Īnalyst 1: I don't understand. T adaptations with 80s- music, holograms, and truly outrageous adventures.
We worked on the Jem movie.Īnalyst 1: Yes, and if there's anything we've figured out, it's that people wan
Tamara: Yeah, this isn't really what the show is about.Īnalyst 2: Trust me. NC: I just don't feel like this is what people are gonna be looking for with a Nostalgia Critic theatrical release. (The background image of their mansion is soon replaced with a greenscreen, revealing that the trio were performing a scene in a filming directed by the Analysts (Rob and Malcolm), also known as the Chart Guys)Īnalyst 2: Critic, we told you, you're not allowed to say cut because you're not directing this.Īnalyst 1: Yes, the chart made that quite clear. (NC and the two do a stylish pose, until they suddenly frown) Tamara: Yeah! Slap that pointless music video credit below and let's get glittering! (That music caption, reminiscent of MTV, is then randomly shown below) And maybe, just maybe, we'll talk about movies. NC: No! And we'll do it while supporting my twelve foster kids! Malcolm: Oh, like the Misfits or the Stingers? NC: I don't know, but we gotta keep this life-changing technology a secret, and only use it to sing songs and take down other competing bands. NC: Well, in our first cinematic motion picture that we're gonna show to the world, yes, we're gonna use our hologram-computers to disguise who we really are! (The song ends, and then we cut to a mansion where NC, Malcolm and Tamara, still dressed, talk with each other) NC (vo): I don't care, cause I'm all those "truly" I mentioned before, a critic!Ĭritic's my name, did you get that part about me saying, "Critic's my name"? Malc & Tam (vo): (singing) Hey, and we're in this! We're in this! (Malcolm (and Tamara) pop up, also wearing stylish wigs on their heads, like the Misfits) He's truly, truly, truly, truly, truly, truly, truly, truly, truly, truly, truly, truly, truly a criticĬritic's my name, as we clearly explained! NC, "Tam", and "Malc" (vo): (singing) Critic! Critic's excitementįashion, glitter, turning heads and that's really about it (We open with a parody of the Jem theme song, with NC, wearing a pink shirt and a pink wig, dancing and singing on a stage much like Jem)